This Father’s Day, I thought of writing about my dad. Like many others, I have never expressed my emotions and feelings about my parents. You could say that I am not very good at expressing them, but I don’t know how last night this thought came into my mind. Whether I share it with anybody or not, I should write my feelings about my dad. Every father plays an important role in his child’s life. But unlike a mother, he is not good at expressing it openly. That’s why we as children tend to make the false judgment that dads are not as loving as mothers.
Fathers : Unsung Heroes Of Our Lives
Being in a joint family, I had never seen my dad helping my mom in daily activities. He was always busy with his business. Joint families comprised of grandparents, uncles, and aunties living together in the same house. As was the tradition, it was common to see segregation of work. All kinds of domestic work and baby care would be taken care of by the women of the house, while all the outside work would be done by the men. Our joint family was not different from this. I don’t have any memory of my father participating in day to day baby care like feeding, giving a bath or changing nappies. The belief system at my place was best summarized by the common saying “bache palna aurto ka kaam hai”, as in a typical orthodox Hindu family.
Despite all these shortcomings, he was a caring father. He always tried to fulfill all our wishes. During that time, kids’ birthday celebrations were not as common as today, and a girl’s birthday was an even rarer thing altogether. I still remember that our dad used to take us out to a nice restaurant and have a family picture clicked by one of his photographer friends. He was a silent caretaker. I still remember that time, when my father had a Luna scooter and we all used to go out on that. He was not very comfortable going out and shopping with us, so he always asked my mom to take us out to buy the stuff we wanted.
During special occasions, he always used to ask us… What do we want for Diwali… Crackers, clothes or anything else. Whatever our demands, we always got it. In spite of belonging to a middle-class family, we never had unfulfilled needs; they were always taken care of. I barely remember a time when our parents said No to us for anything that we needed. My dad did not openly express his love for us, but he has always loved both of his daughters.
Fathers are like coconut… Hard outside, but soft inside.
I clearly remember the day I had a bad fight with my elder sister. I got really angry when my mom took my sister’s side. I cried for a whole two days; stopped eating completely. In the afternoon of the second day, when my dad came home for lunch, he came to me and asked me as to why I was upset. I told him everything. Imagine my surprise, when he gave me surety that he was with me. “Don’t worry”, he said. I was extremely happy to hear this from him.
During the time when I was in 10th class, I wanted to celebrate my birthday. Never before had a girl’s birthday been celebrated in our family. All my class’ girls wanted to come home for the celebration. When I asked my parents for the same, they said that they didn’t want to disappoint me and agreed. I had one of the best birthday celebrations ever.
Whenever I achieved something in life, I could clearly see the sense of pride and happiness in my parents’ eyes. I have heard somewhere, that our parents give us wings to fly and it’s completely true in my case. Despite belonging to an orthodox family, my parents sent me to the hostel. This was the first time a girl from our family went outside for studies. That’s kind of an achievement for me.
Throughout all these years, my parents have always trusted me, wherever I go. Whether I decided to stay alone in an apartment in a Metro city, or when I decided to leave my job. My parents never questioned me. I believe, for a girl, it’s a huge blessing when her parents understand her, trust her and support her in the decisions she takes.
Today, when I see my husband actively participating in all kind of activities with my child, I clearly see the friendly relationship between the father and child, whether it is playing, cuddling, or cooking for him. Sometimes, I believe if during our childhood our father had also participated in child care, then probably we would have had a more close relationship with him. That may be the reason we don’t express our feelings openly.
But one thing which I understand after becoming a parent is that a Mom’s love can be expressed in words easily, but it is really difficult for a Dad to express his love and concern for his children. Dads express their love in different ways which may appear weird to the outer world. Regardless, a Father knows, deep in his heart, how truly he loves his children.
Thank you Papa, for always being there for us. We might not talk regularly, we might disagree on a few things, but we always know that your love for us is the truest and most sincere kind of love.